Last semester, a girl came into my life, and as anyone who knows my history could predict, it signaled the start of another life lesson. Feelings began to develop over a few weeks, and I decided I wanted to pursue a relationship with her. I genuinely liked her, I’d prayed about it, and felt confident it was the right step forward. Looking back, I realize how easily feelings can cloud judgment.
Fortunately, a good friend intervened, pulling me back from what was becoming a romantically fueled haze. My thinking wasn’t entirely clear at the time, and he wisely suggested I take a week to fast and pray about what God truly wanted for me. He advised me, especially since I was seeing her the next day, to pray for a clear sign from God about which path to take.
Honestly, I resisted the idea. Waiting was the last thing I wanted. However, deep down, I knew my friend was speaking truth and offering wise counsel. So, I prayed, asking God to illuminate the correct direction, though in my heart, I was already leaning heavily towards pursuing her.
The next day, when we met, my prayer from the night before slipped my mind. We were talking about life goals when she said something that stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t a major statement, nor something I’d previously considered crucial. But as the words left her mouth, it felt like a punch to the gut, and the previous night’s prayer surged back into my consciousness. It was undeniable: God was highlighting that while her passions were admirable and God-honoring, they simply didn’t align with mine.
Returning to my dorm room, I slumped onto the couch and wrestled with God. “Why, God, why?” I argued. “Why would you do this to me?” I really cared for this girl, and it felt like He was pulling us apart. Didn’t He understand how strong my feelings were?
Then, it hit me. With the force of conviction.
God posed a question that cut through the emotional fog: “If you really care for her, wouldn’t you desire what I have planned for her?”
It was as if a wave of truth washed over my clouded mind. I hadn’t been truly loving her at all. My feelings were rooted in selfishness, in desiring her. I had been deceiving myself, claiming I wanted the best for her, while my infatuated heart was whispering that I was the best for her.
God revealed that genuine love meant wanting her to be in alignment with His will above all else. Even if that meant we wouldn’t be in a relationship. True love is found in resting completely in Him, finding peace in whatever He has destined.
To truly love someone means your devotion to God is so profound that you find peace even if that person is not yours to keep. She had, in a way, become an idol, overshadowing my relationship with God. And God, in His loving correction, wanted me back.
This realization has fundamentally changed my perspective on relationships. Recently, I’ve started pursuing another girl, but this time, my approach is completely different. I’ve immersed myself in prayer, and God has instilled in me a heart that is content even if I don’t “get the girl.” My primary desire is for her best, and I pray for that daily, surrendering to the Lord’s will. This mindset is only possible through that daily surrender.
Remember, true love isn’t about possessing someone; it’s about surrendering them to God’s perfect will for their life. It’s about asking yourself, Do I Really Love Her enough to want God’s best for her, even if it’s not with me? True love prioritizes their divine destiny over our personal desires.
