Is it better to hold back and see if your feelings last, or should you take a leap of faith and say “I love you” when you feel it? This question often arises in the exciting yet vulnerable early stages of a relationship. Some believe in expressing love early and openly, while others advocate for a more cautious approach. But is there a right or wrong answer? Let’s delve into this emotional milestone and explore different perspectives on when to utter those three powerful words.
“Of course you should say it when you feel it,” says Sasha, a theatre director and a firm believer in love at first sight. She recounts, “In each of my significant relationships, ‘I love you’ was expressed within the initial couple of weeks. I believe that’s normal and truly encouraging. You often just instinctively know.” Sasha vividly remembers meeting Ezra, a professor, in college. “I was in class, and this young professor walked in,” she recalls. “I remember everything about that moment – his plum-colored paisley shirt, blue jeans, Orioles baseball cap, and green backpack. As he spoke, it felt like my entire focus narrowed to him, and I knew instantly, I needed him in my life. It was a visceral, physical sensation.” This intense feeling didn’t fade for 25 years. Despite life’s turns, including other relationships and a marriage, Sasha and Ezra remained connected, their annual dinners eventually turning into something more.
Sasha draws upon ancient Greek philosophy to describe love’s unpredictable nature. “The ancient Greeks perceived love as a God, Cupid, depicted as a blind baby,” she explains. “Cupid, blind and lacking common sense, randomly shoots arrows, meaning love can strike unexpectedly at any moment.” For Sasha, this beautifully captures the often irrational and sudden nature of love.
The very phrase “falling in love” suggests a lack of control and a surrender to something powerful. Falling is effortless, driven by gravity. But falling from a height is terrifying. Similarly, acknowledging love can be daunting. “It’s scary to consider that something profound might be predestined for you,” Sasha reflects. “Especially in our modern, self-reliant world, where we believe we control our paths.” Love, however, often disregards our carefully laid plans. Perhaps saying “I love you” is an acceptance of fate, a submission to an emotion that defies logic and reason. It’s about acknowledging a powerful connection, regardless of the timing, and embracing the vulnerability that comes with expressing deep affection.
