Love poems hold a unique place in literature and personal expression. In a world often dominated by noise and conflict, the intimate and vulnerable act of writing a love poem can be a powerful statement. But why write love poems in today’s world, and how can you effectively capture the nuances of affection in verse? This guide explores the essence of love poetry, offering steps and insights to help you craft your own heartfelt expressions.
Why Write Love Poems? Finding Your Motivation
Before diving into the ‘how,’ it’s crucial to consider the ‘why.’ Katie Farris, in her collection A Net to Catch my Body in its Weaving, poignantly asks, “why write love poems in a burning world?” This question resonates deeply in a time marked by global challenges and personal struggles. Perhaps the answer lies in the very contrast Farris highlights. In a world often devoid of tenderness, love poems become an act of resistance, a celebration of connection, and a testament to the enduring human need for love.
Love, in its myriad forms, is a fundamental human experience. It’s not solely confined to romantic relationships; it encompasses familial bonds, friendships, admiration for strangers, and even affection for the natural world. Writing love poems allows us to articulate these diverse emotions, to acknowledge the individuals and experiences that enrich our lives. As Farris’ work suggests, love poems can be a response to a world that often feels loveless, a way to cultivate and document the affection that sustains us. Without love, or in spaces where love is absent, we are confronted with stark realities. Love poems, therefore, become vital expressions of hope, connection, and personal truth.
Consider the poems “Rachel’s Chair” by Katie Farris and “In Defense of Our Overgrown Garden” by Matthea Harvey. Farris’ poem, direct and honest, hints at enduring love through simplicity. Harvey’s work, expansive and whimsical, captures the encompassing nature of love in unexpected imagery. These diverse styles illustrate the vast landscape of love poetry – from the understated to the exuberant.
Ultimately, the act of writing a love poem is itself significant. Even scribbling a loved one’s name repeatedly in a notebook is a form of love poem. It’s the tangible expression, the ink on paper, that declares, “I was here, and I felt this.” Love poems document our experiences, awaken us to shared languages of affection, and offer a counter-narrative to the often-bleak backdrop of the world. They remind us of first dates, inside jokes, meaningful symbols, and shared moments – the unique lexicon of love that deserves to be captured and celebrated.
Step-by-Step Guide: How to Craft Your Love Poem
While the ‘why’ provides the emotional core, the ‘how’ offers the practical steps to translate those feelings into verse. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you write your own love poem:
Step 1: Define Your ‘Why’
Before putting pen to paper, revisit the question: Why are you writing this love poem? Who or what is the subject of your affection? Understanding your motivation will infuse your poem with authenticity and purpose. Is it to express romantic love, appreciation for a friend, gratitude for a family member, or admiration for someone who touched your life briefly? Clarifying your ‘why’ will guide your thematic choices and emotional tone.
Step 2: Access Shared Language and Imagery
Love poems thrive on specificity. Think about the unique language, inside jokes, shared experiences, and significant images that define your connection with your subject. What are the moments, places, or objects that hold special meaning for you both? Accessing this shared vocabulary will make your poem personal and resonant. Consider a specific time, a significant place, or recurring images that encapsulate your feelings. This step is about grounding your abstract emotion in concrete details.
Step 3: Respect Voice and Agency
A crucial element of ethical love poetry is respecting the autonomy of your subject. Avoid speaking for them, objectifying them, or denying them their own voice. Draw inspiration from poets like Rae Armantrout, whose work often explores nuanced perspectives and avoids simplistic representations. Your poem should be an expression of your love and appreciation, not a claim of possession or a distorted portrayal of the other person.
Step 4: Embrace Concrete Imagery
Vague declarations of love often lack impact. Instead, ground your poem in concrete imagery. Engage the senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. As seen in Aria Aber’s poem “Waiting for Your Call,” mundane details like “mouthwash, yogurt, cilantro” can become powerful anchors for emotion when juxtaposed with deeper feelings. Use sensory details to paint a vivid picture and make your emotions palpable to the reader. Show, don’t just tell, your love.
Step 5: Start with a Captivating Opening
The first line of your poem is your opportunity to hook the reader. Aim for a compelling opening that immediately draws attention and sets the tone. Maggie Nelson’s Bluets, for instance, begins with the striking line, “Suppose that I were to begin by saying I’ve fallen in love with a color.” A strong opening can be a question, a bold statement, an intriguing image, or a surprising comparison. Make your first line work hard to capture the essence of your poem and invite the reader into your world of affection.
Love Poem Template: Confession Prompt Inspired by Oliver Baez Bendorf
For those seeking a structured starting point, a template can be a helpful tool. Inspired by the work of Oliver Baez Bendorf, this confession prompt offers a framework to guide your writing process:
Confession Prompt
After Oliver Baez Bendorf
If we ever _______________ (an observation)
_______________ (a negation)
_______________ (zoom out)
A rose is _______________ (a confession)
_______________ (a question)
_______________ (another question)
a) Another question b) zoom out c) an observation
_______________ (a line that uses an exclamation point)
_______________ (a summary of what love is)
_______________ (a symbol of the space that precedes honesty)
_______________ (a confession)
_______________ (final line)
This template encourages a blend of observation, introspection, and emotional revelation. It prompts you to consider different facets of love, from shared experiences to personal reflections. Use it as a springboard to explore your own feelings and craft a poem that is both structured and deeply personal.
Writing love poems is a journey of self-expression and connection. By understanding your motivations, employing vivid imagery, respecting your subject, and experimenting with form, you can create poems that resonate with authenticity and heartfelt emotion. Embrace the vulnerability of expressing love in verse, and let your words awaken both yourself and your readers to the enduring power of affection.
Writer Bio
jonathan burkhalter is a writer, event coordinator, teacher, and editor. They hold an MFA in Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College. They are passionate about motels, natural wine, food that moves us, and the practice of the kitchen table as a gathering place.
