The other day, a close friend posed a question that made me pause and reflect:
“What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about me?”
After a moment of hesitation, they revealed that my greatest strength and my biggest weakness were intertwined – the intensity with which I love. It’s true; I’ll admit it. Sometimes, I love too hard, and this intensity can be both a blessing and a burden. But What Does Love Hard Mean, exactly? For me, it’s a multifaceted experience that shapes how I navigate relationships and view the world.
One aspect of loving hard is the struggle to let go after relationships end. Break-ups are never clean cuts for me. There’s always a lingering thread, some connection that blurs the lines of separation. Even when a relationship is definitively over, my love doesn’t simply vanish. It’s not driven by loneliness, but often by a persistent hope, perhaps naive, of reconciliation. The thought, “if we truly love each other, it’s bound to happen again, right?” echoes in my mind. It’s a testament to the blinding nature of love, as they say.
Loving hard also means loving without preconditions and forgiving quickly. My affection for someone doesn’t hinge on them earning it through specific actions. It sparks when I see something remarkable in them, something that captures my attention. This love isn’t solely romantic; it extends to deep friendships as well. And forgiveness comes easily. Holding onto anger feels unnatural. I crave peace in every situation, so arguments or harsh words rarely fuel lasting resentment. Even if I choose to step away from a friendship or relationship, the anger dissipates quickly.
Once I love you, I’m in it for the long haul. This is another facet of what does love hard mean to me. I hold love for people who have wronged me, even for exes. It’s not romantic love, but a genuine affection. I can maintain cordiality with them, regardless of the reasons for our separation. Unless the situation was deeply damaging to my core being, I’d likely be open to friendship. I’m particularly steadfast towards those who might expect me to walk away. People sometimes assume that my faith dictates rigid boundaries, believing they can’t be around me if they do something I might disapprove of. They eventually realize that even in disagreement, my love remains.
For me, “love” isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action and a conscious choice. It’s not merely about experiencing the emotion, but actively demonstrating it and deciding to love someone. Of course, I could easily turn my back on those who have hurt me. Pride could dictate indifference towards those who have broken my heart. I could sever ties with anyone who acts against my values, holding grudges and fostering negativity. But what purpose would that serve? Anger breeds nothing positive for myself or anyone else.
This intense way of loving, this is what does love hard mean in practice, also opens the door to vulnerability. It’s the downside of loving hard. I become the girl of countless second chances, a trait easily exploited. Some might deem it foolish to love this way. “It doesn’t make sense,” they say. “Why would you love people who treated you poorly? Why can’t you just let go? Why do you still care?” I hear these questions often. But my answer, the one I gave my friend, remains:
Honestly, I choose to love… it’s not entirely within my control. When people err, their instinct is to distance themselves, to try and become “better” before seeking connection. When they treat me badly, they often assume I’ll disappear. They place me on a pedestal because of my faith, which I find unsettling. It prompts me to consider: what if God withdrew His love every time we pushed Him away, or demanded we fix ourselves before approaching Him? What if God stopped loving us when we turned from Him or denied our love for Him? That would be a truly desolate existence. So, yes, I will continue to love hard, regardless of the potential pain, because I learned to love from Love Himself. It may be both my strength and my weakness, but it is undeniably who I am, and it won’t change.
I will only love harder.
