Defining love can feel like trying to catch smoke – elusive, intangible, yet undeniably present in our lives. We use the word “love” so frequently, from expressing affection for a song to describing our deepest commitments to family. But when pressed to articulate exactly what love is, many find themselves at a loss. This challenge isn’t unique to love; many fundamental concepts are easier to experience than to define. Yet, understanding the definition of love is crucial, especially when it forms the cornerstone of our beliefs and relationships.
For those within the Christian faith, love is more than just a feeling; it’s a guiding principle, a divine attribute, and a commandment. From theological discussions to everyday interactions, love is central. But what do we truly mean when we talk about love in this profound sense? Simply stating that Christians are called to love is merely the starting point of a much deeper exploration. To truly understand its significance, we must delve into the very definition of love.
This article aims to unpack the complexities of love, particularly within a Christian framework. Drawing upon the insights of theologians like John Wesley and Thomas Aquinas, we will explore a robust definition of love, seeking to clarify its meaning in relation to both God and our fellow human beings. We propose that love can be understood as delighting in and moving toward the good in someone. This definition, while concise, encompasses the multifaceted nature of love and provides a framework for understanding its diverse expressions.
Understanding Love: Why Definitions Matter
Why is it so important to define love? As the opening of this discussion suggests with the example of the word “which”, even common words can be surprisingly difficult to define, yet clarity becomes vital when these words carry significant weight. Just as understanding “worship” is essential for guiding Christian practice, grasping the definition of love is paramount for navigating our faith and relationships.
In Christianity, love isn’t a peripheral concept; it’s foundational. It shapes our understanding of God’s nature and our calling as believers. The Wesleyan tradition, in particular, emphasizes love as central to our understanding of both God and sanctification – the process of becoming more Christ-like. However, the very ubiquity of the word “love” can obscure its true meaning. We use it in various contexts, from fleeting preferences to lifelong commitments, and while there’s a common thread, the nuances are significant. Therefore, a clear definition is not merely an academic exercise but a practical necessity for living out our faith authentically and meaningfully.
Our focus will be on love as it relates to God and to other people, reflecting John Wesley’s emphasis on the dual command to love God and neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39). This exploration will encompass both our love for God and others, and God’s love for us, seeking to illuminate the core meaning of love within these crucial relationships.
John Wesley’s Perspective on Love
John Wesley, a key figure in Methodism, frequently wrote and preached about love. However, when it came to defining love directly, Wesley often focused more on its outward expressions rather than a concise definition. His sermon “On Love” provides valuable insights into how love manifests itself, particularly in our relationship with God.
Wesley begins by asking, “what is this love is,–what is the true meaning of the word?” His answer, however, leans towards describing the experience of loving God: “Now, what is it to love God, but to delight in him, to rejoice in his will, to desire continually to please him, to seek and find our happiness in him, and to thirst day and night for a fuller enjoyment of him?” Here, Wesley highlights elements like delight, joy, desire to please, and seeking happiness in God as indicators of love for God.
When Wesley turns to love for “God’s creatures,” he introduces the concept of delighting in others, but with a crucial caveat: “For he hath commanded us, not only to love our neighbor, that is, all men, as ourselves;–to desire and pursue their happiness as sincerely and steadily as our own,–but also to love many of his creatures in the strictest sense; to delight in them; to enjoy them: Only in such a manner and measure as we know and feel, not to indispose but to prepare us for the enjoyment of Him.” This is a pivotal distinction. Wesley suggests that loving others involves delighting in them, but this delight should ultimately orient us towards God, not distract us from Him. Love for others, in Wesley’s view, should enhance, not diminish, our love for God. Properly ordered love, for Wesley, is hierarchical, with love for God as the ultimate and guiding force. Through Wesley’s emphasis on the expressions of love, particularly the element of “delight,” we begin to move closer to understanding its core essence.
Thomas Aquinas’ Definition of Love
To further deepen our understanding of the definition of love, we turn to the influential medieval theologian Thomas Aquinas. Aquinas, drawing from Aristotelian philosophy, offers a remarkably clear and foundational element of love: “to love a person is to wish that person good” (Summa Theologiae, I.20.1). This definition, simple yet profound, emphasizes the volitional aspect of love – love as an act of the will. To love someone, according to Aquinas, is to actively desire and work towards their well-being, their flourishing, their good.
This understanding of love as “willing the good of the other” is applicable to both our love for other people and God’s love for us. Parents exemplify this perfectly; their love for their children is often expressed through actions that promote their children’s long-term good, even when it means denying immediate desires. God’s love for us, similarly, is perfectly directed towards our ultimate good, guided by His perfect knowledge of what truly benefits us.
However, Aquinas also acknowledges that this “willing the good” is not the entirety of love, especially when considering our love for God. Since God is already perfect goodness, we cannot “will good” for God in the same way we do for another person who may lack something. This leads us to consider another crucial element of love.
Aquinas, echoing Wesley’s emphasis on delight, further states, “For nobody desires anything nor rejoices in anything, except as a good that is loved” (Summa Theologiae, I.20.1). This suggests that love is not only about willing the good for someone but also about rejoicing in the good within them. Aquinas synthesizes these two aspects: “An act of love always tends towards two things; to the good that one wills, and to the person for whom one wills it.” Therefore, for Aquinas, love is a dual movement: a movement of the will towards the good of the other, and a movement of the heart that delights in the goodness already present in the beloved. This comprehensive view of love captures both the active and affective dimensions of this profound human experience.
Synthesizing Wesley and Aquinas: A Deeper Definition of Love
By bringing together the insights of John Wesley and Thomas Aquinas, we can arrive at a richer and more complete definition of love. Wesley’s emphasis on “delighting in” and Aquinas’s focus on “willing the good” are not mutually exclusive but rather complementary aspects of love. Our proposed definition, delighting in and moving toward the good in someone, integrates these crucial elements.
The phrase “moving toward the good” takes on slightly different nuances depending on whether the beloved is another person or God. When we love another person, “moving toward their good” aligns directly with Aquinas’ “willing the good” – actively working for their well-being, supporting their growth, and desiring what is truly best for them. This is love in action, expressed through tangible care and commitment.
However, when the beloved is God, “moving toward the good” signifies our movement towards the perfect good that God embodies. We cannot improve God’s goodness, but we can, and indeed should, move closer to it. This movement is fueled by delight in God’s inherent goodness, mirroring Wesley’s emphasis. Our love for God is expressed through adoration, worship, and a continuous seeking of deeper communion with Him.
Consider the challenging example of loving someone who is difficult to love – perhaps someone trapped in destructive patterns. True love, in this context, embodies both elements of our definition. It involves “moving toward their good” by desiring and working towards their healing and restoration. Simultaneously, it requires “delighting in” their inherent worth as a creation of God, even when their actions obscure that goodness. This echoes Augustine of Hippo’s insight that every creature, despite the presence of sin, retains some inherent good. Love, both human and divine, seeks to nurture and draw out this inherent good.
Ultimately, understanding the definition of love is not just an intellectual exercise but a pathway to living more fully and authentically. It guides us in our relationships with others and deepens our connection with God.
Conclusion: The Significance of True Love
Clarifying the definition of love is far from an abstract, academic pursuit. It has profound implications for how we live out the central Christian command to love God and our neighbors. True love, as we have explored, is not merely a fleeting emotion or a passive sentiment. It is an active, intentional, and transformative force.
In summary, true love encompasses both delighting in the inherent goodness of the beloved and actively moving towards their flourishing, whether that beloved is God or another person. It stands in stark contrast to “false” or “disordered” loves – the inordinate attachments to things like money, fame, or power, which ultimately detract from true goodness. It also challenges superficial understandings of love that prioritize personal gratification or objectification over genuine care for the other’s well-being.
The profound words of 1 John 4:7-8 resonate deeply in light of this definition: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Love, in its truest sense, originates from God, reflects God’s nature, and ultimately leads us back to God. By understanding the definition of love, we are better equipped to embody this divine attribute in our lives, fostering deeper, more meaningful relationships and drawing closer to the very source of love itself.
