The pursuit of lasting love is a universal human desire. In a world often characterized by fleeting connections and a “freedom-from” mentality, where commitment is viewed as a constraint, how do we cultivate enduring love? David Brooks, a prominent contemporary moralist, offers a profound insight: “My favorite definition of commitment is falling in love with something and then building a structure of behavior around it for the moment when love falters.” This concept, focusing on “freedom-to” – the ability to achieve something meaningful through dedicated effort – resonates deeply with the ancient wisdom found in the Book of Deuteronomy, the fifth book of the Torah.
Deuteronomy: A Blueprint for Enduring Love
Deuteronomy isn’t merely a recounting of laws or Moses’ final speeches. It’s a powerful testament to the enduring covenant between God and the Israelites, a relationship built on mutual love and commitment. The book emphasizes the importance of love, with the Hebrew root “a-h-v” (to love) appearing 23 times, significantly more than in the preceding books of the Torah. This love is reciprocal, expressed both by God towards the people and by the people towards God. Deuteronomy highlights God’s unwavering love for the Israelites, choosing them not for their numbers but for His affection towards them.
How Making Love Endure: Bridging Law and Love
The connection between love and the detailed legal code within Deuteronomy might seem paradoxical. How can law and love coexist? Brooks’ definition of commitment provides the key: law, in the form of mitzvoth (commandments) and halakhah (Jewish law), serves as the “structure of behavior” that sustains love over time. Love, in its initial stages, is often a passionate and intense emotion. However, emotions are fluid and can wane. Just as a marriage begins with the poetry of romance but endures through the prose of everyday life, so too does love require a framework to sustain it.
The Power of Rituals in How Making Love Lasts
Rituals are the scaffolding that supports enduring love. They are the small acts of kindness, the gestures of self-sacrifice, the consistent expressions of devotion that keep the flame alive even when the initial passion subsides. A simple example, like a husband bringing his wife breakfast in bed every morning, illustrates the power of ritual to nurture and sustain love over decades. Similarly, the numerous rituals within Judaism, many detailed in Deuteronomy, served to maintain the love between God and the Israelites. These rituals, though seemingly mundane, acted as constant reminders of the divine presence and fostered a deep, abiding connection.
Sustaining the Flame: How Making Love Last Through Generations
The enduring power of love within Judaism is evident throughout history, expressed in Psalms, Isaiah, and countless prayers and songs. This love has persisted for centuries, fueled by the rituals and commandments that weave the presence of God into daily life. History demonstrates that when Jewish communities abandoned these practices, their identity often faded within generations. Rituals, therefore, are not mere formalities; they are the lifeblood of enduring love.
The “Why” of Jewish Law: How Making Love Remains Central
While Jewish law often focuses on the “how” and “what” of religious practice, Deuteronomy reveals the “why.” It illuminates the purpose behind the commandments: to create a structure that nurtures and sustains the love between God and His people. This principle extends beyond the religious realm. In any loving relationship, creating a framework of rituals – small acts of devotion and shared experiences – can help ensure that love endures beyond the initial spark of passion. These rituals are the building blocks of lasting love, fostering a quiet joy and inner light that can illuminate a lifetime.
